yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
