I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
