Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
