We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
