I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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