You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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