You work out of a Hotel?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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