She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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