Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
