I want to stick my p in your. b.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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