That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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