New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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