if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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