Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
