Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
