Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
