girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
