Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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