on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i drank out of a bidet.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
