Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
