she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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