would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
