Say something about gay babies.
Small penises have feelings too.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
