idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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