his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
