Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
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Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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