How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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