I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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