I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
