i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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