If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Who died my cat blue again?