I wanna passion pit in your ass
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni