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• (216): View more from Ohio

  thus making me awesome and them whores

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• (214): View more from Texas

  just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  morning after pill = breakfast in bed

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.

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