While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies