You really coming over, don't trick.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
foreskin is a definite game changer
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
