I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
