I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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