i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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