How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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