nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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