your parents love me but you hate me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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