he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
