my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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