This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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