She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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