it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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