Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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