Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
