I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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