next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
