i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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