and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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