I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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