Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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