Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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