You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
