stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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