Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
