their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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