Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
