He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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