It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
